A Letter
Dear Speshul Snowflake,
It’s 2010 and everything I do, say, create, listen to, read or wear is dictated by society. I have nothing against this actually as society is something that makes humans different from other species on this planet. It’s our ability to co-exist for our mutual benefit which makes us unique. You cannot ignore society or fail to be influenced by it. The only way you can is by existing on your own, completely untouched by anything and being influenced by nothing. However as a human we are exhibitionists by our very nature and complete seclusion from society is something no one will obtain willingly.
Society can be defined as humanity itself or the smaller subcultures that we live in. I have been part of York society, London, rural Wales and Cork society. I’ve also been member of societies such as the YHA and the LDWA. So we’re not constrained by just being human, but also by the sub-societies we are part of. Be those city, country or household.
Society isn’t a bad thing. I don’t understand people who think being social, socialising or society are negatives. These don’t mean you have to fight for your right to be an individual; you’re never going to be one unless you’re in a society of one of course. People who try too much to be different, to not conform to the norm are really just highlighting the fact that they’re just the same as everyone else. Your actions of trying to be different have just slotted you into the society of people who try too hard. Unfortunately it’s a part of society that most other people shun because the members are either too annoying, too much like hard work or just very difficult to get along with.
This part of society can sometimes be referred to as the Speshul Snowflakes. I’m sure we’ve all had dealings with them in the past and they’re usually just within the secondary school age range. People who always have to outdo the next person and I don’t mean just by buying a more expensive computer, pair of shoes or mobile phone. They’re sometimes compulsive liars or people that construct their own reality in order to come across as someone unique and special.
Being constantly on the defensive, adding conflict or just the act of always trying to be different just puts you firmly in the “people we don’t associate with/talk to anymore” bucket. Society doesn’t want or need this. It goes against the very ideals of society in that you are purposefully not trying to co-exist for our mutual benefit. You are, essentially, a speed bump on the road to progression.
Then they might argue that being part of society is hard, or my very nature of being a loner means I can’t be part of society. You’re on the internet, reading this, responding to emails, or indeed ‘tweeting’ you are in fact part of society, albeit modern society. Being a loner just means you can’t deal with people in a conversational manner not humanity in general. And that just equals socially backward.
It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve met a socially backward adult though, in fact I know someone who even fits the Speshul Snowflake category as an adult. It makes me wonder how people think being like this at their age is anything to be proud of or indeed tell people about like it’s some sort of achievement. They of course will say it’s an illness or something we should all feel sorry for them about, but not really. They need to learn that it’s immature of them to be this way. You don’t have to be different to be accepted in society. Doing that just makes us all roll our eyes and slowly move away from you and find excuses not to bring certain things up in conversation, until we stop talking all together.
You can be an individual but to be different just to draw attention to your self and the lack of individual qualities you have isn’t a good idea. Once people like this learn to accept that they are really only one in a few billion then coping with being part of a society and interacting with other humans will come easy. I for one find it incredibly insulting to be looked at as if I’m under a microscope, or I’m some puzzle to figure out. Indeed even have my actions assessed and my motivations predicted annoy me. Stop looking at me and turn your attention to yourself. To your sheltered, mentally unprepared self. I’m not a lesser being than you because I’m normal, or because I have a social life of my own construction. The fact that you have a list of childhood achievements longer than my arm mean nothing to me or anyone else. It might be unfortunate that something might have happened to you in younger life to change who you are today but as an adult is it really something that hard to change?
Maybe this really is a case for therapy, and it might be nice to have some experience and education behind me so I can actually comment on it as a mental case, but I don’t. Right now I am a normal member of society, making friends, having life experiences and finding myself dealing with people that don’t know how to cope in the world they’ve had ample time to get used too. I can’t teach this sort of stuff, you just have to get out of your shell and do it. Or at least get out of your superiority complex and actually accept the fact that your are normal and like the rest of us.
With fond (but not inappropriate) regards,
Quinny
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